friendly fire

Sybil here. I'd like to tell you that today was just an ordinairy non-exciting day. but im afraid that would be lying. I'm not sure i'm okay. I want to be, but sometimes that's not enough. Okay well the whole morning was so lame you couldn't even begin to imagine. I stayed up the whole night. I wasn't tired so. And around4 am i went outside got some air, jogged. then i worked on homework, i still have a bit to finish tomorrow but not much. Anyway, the whole day i worked. took a break here and there yes. It was beautiful outside so i decided to sun bathe. Now is didn't get much of a tan. but still. theres a diffrence.
Now when i finally decided to stop for the night well........ that's when my day went from lame to WAY too much drama. in the whole i got emma a potential boyfriend. hung actually. they seemed to get a long well so ill leave the rest up to the fates. then we started this massed convo and cori kept like pissing me off. and i really wasnt in the mood so i didnt take it too well. maybe lack of sleep will do that to you. insomnia :S ICK. ( so i went from needing all together too much sleep to i can't sleep) and well we fought. by the end the sides were, me, hung, Justin, emma against cori, richard, sam and some kid. eventually it got worse. cuz Leah was added. now i'm not really sure if i've told you how me and justin became friends...., well i will * Okay well basically they were at another one of their bickerings and Justin finally snapped and called her a whore and it all went down hill from there. Now i was already in a really foul mood cause of Cori. So this........ i dunno. anyway they brought me in it. Lee telling me to dump him, and him being so damn cute :( and like trying to keep that from happening. and i was like being pulled apart, so i kind of became common ground. they both liked me but hated each other. i got that, and i knew that couldnt be helped but still. So Emma was trying to help, but she didn't get the whole story. i really just wanted a rain check. but that wouldnt happen. it was here and now. it was either going to work or fall apart. So after much pursuaving we came up with a truce. As soon as i realized that Justin was pure evil, I'd dump him. And she'd ignore him on that expense. Now he had apoligized from the remark but she just couldnt accept it. so we made a truce. a sketchy temporary truce, because i know that sooner or later leah's going to realize that i know hes weird THATs why i like him, hes diffrent, and weird and odd, and sweet. and i was happy. weither shee liked it or not. and so shell want diffrent demands, but till that time comes, these lines hold. I really don't think she's seen all of him. No i don't know 100% Justin but i hate Micheal and she still likes him. but mistery is good, cause then we have the chance to learn.
Right now i'm sitting on the swing in the backyard. Itd freezing, around midnight. I came out here, not only cause the moon was out but because it cleared my head. I i could think. the cold makes everything focused. BUT that still doesnt mean i have to like being cold. It's so peaceful out here, so quiet, serene, but i can't really enjoy it cause of the mood im in. :( god. Hopefully i can sort through everything and enjoy this before its time to head inside again.
* Okay well leah never really like Jutin. Therre was always something about him, I have a theorie about that but i can't say. so one day, when they were having a fight, i asked him why he hated leah, what he did. and he said that he really had no clue. which just points more towards my throrie. and like we started talking and he was really witty, and funny. So we talked more and then one thing lead to another and we became friends. Now you know the rest from there.

On a whole other subject, I'm freaking. I don't know if ill be able to do my presentation cause it touches so close to home. I mean i found a chart that shows the signs of neglect and i fit almost every one. I can't deal with this. especially not today.
The sky os so clear. Its dark, and yet theres always sparkles of light hidden. I love night time. I'd be nocturnal if possible, sadly it doesnt work that way. the nights so fresh, and alive. you can be completly alone and feel safe. Some people get the opposite feeling, and im not saying that's wrong. Dark is dangerous. but i need a little danger once in a while, it keeps my senses awake. my mind running. and the moon. it's like its always there trying to cool your feeling, so you are nothing but raw, then you know what to do. i love summer nights most, cause then its cold, but bareble, peaceful. and the moon is even clearer. '
Once in a while, let darkness guide your path,
GothGirl xox