moonlit peace

An hour. A sat outside just thinking for an hour. i didn't even notice i ws cold, and i would have stayed out longer. it seemed like 20 minutes only. only about 5 after i finished typing. guess not. the thing that got my attention was a raven. it had perched on the black bench near me. it just sat there staring at me. lik eit knew why i was there. No harm, just to be.i looked at it for a while and then he finally flew away, right accross the moon. it was beautiful. i swear like something out of a book. but not. so i went inside. i realized when the crow came that i hard started singing. i didn't even know what i was saying till i listened. and it was pretty. darkness of the night, i beleive was the name. im not sure its even a real song. and i can't remember it now but... it was pretty.
By the moonlight, i finally came to a conclusion. I can't give up. I have to fight. weither its with or against leah. I'd never hurt our friendship but i can't sit idle, while my relashionship with the guy i like crumbles. I love leah, but i REALLY like Justin too. This Blog is for her to try to understand. I've dated so many creeps. like really you have no clue. if i got out my list i could name at least three things that creeped me out about each guy. except Justin. With him its just happy. No he's not perfect. I get that, and to other people he may be creepy but... i dunno, maybe leah was right and i got hit on the head, but it doesn't matter how. I'm here and i Like him. his smile, is light blue eyes in the contrass to his skin, even his nose gives structure to his face. He has this amazing blonde hair, and he's tall withought being lanky and odd. it balances. and he's nice. He makes me feel special. Leah if you were in my shoes. and i mean not as you, but as me, with what i'm describing now, would you say no? hmm? i smile more, when i talk to him the rest of the world floats away and its just me and him, unless hung is added to the convo cause then its me him and hung (lol) but i mean lee, i think he likes me too cause when i look in his eyes, i mean really look, i see admiration and adoration. Lee i'm not buttering this up like i would in my book. this is really how i feel. Seriously Neal in my book, its Justin, completly 100%. and you may think But you don't even know him. that's not true, not anymore. I've been playing 20 Q with him for like 2 months. for my msn folders, i have 2 for his convos only, and they are both full. the one i have with you isn't even half full. and we talk and really got to know each other. i guarentee i could even name a few things about him you didn't know. and he even likes some of the same books as me, and movies, and MUSIC! no one ( but soul and my dad ) likes my music! and no he didn't just copy i asked him first. Angels and Demon's is one of his all time fav books and mine too. We're going to see the movie when it comes out this summer.
Lee, please try to understand. When i was outside alone, nothing but my thoughts, no matter what i thought i always ended up thinking about how much i like Justin. Please i promise that if i realize that it won't work. or find one really creepy thing, ill tell okay. but i mean, right now I love you honey, now please work on ignoring him. As much as you can anyways.
I found my moonlit peace,
Gothgirl xox