okay okay i know i havent posted in a while but the simple truth is i just dont have time anymore. i really just dont. my usual day consists of getting up at 7, going to school, doing the many activities im signed up for, going home, doing my homework, going to work, and then talking to justin for an hour. and then repeat. So i guess youve pretty much figured out that i dont really hang out with my "friends" anymore. Yes we still talk, yes i do sometimes sit with them at lunch. but no i dont care or go out of my way for them. i usually spend my lunch periods sitting alone on the school steps ( outside our auditorium) and eating/ doing homework. Once in a while someone will come and sit with my but mostly i am completely solo. Anthony and i have become better friends, and even though i still completly 100% am in love with justin i do sortof have a crush on him, horrible i know but im not going to act on the feeling. i like where i am now. justin and i are past the anoying awkwardness of the relationship and are now so relaxed around each other. why would i give that up? besides id miss him way too much. lol i did a shoulder test too. and hate to say it but Anthony is just too short. my head doesnt fit with his shoulder, its not perfect and easy, not anything like justin. we really are perfect for each other.
i havent done much writing as you can probably tell from my schedual. actually i will REALLY tell you my schedual but like jsut after school/ before school activites.
monday- after school jazz
tuesday- after school band
wednesday- diversity club before school
- Art club after school
Thursday-before school jazz
- after school tutoring flute
Friday- before school band
- tutoring at lunch
- tutoring flute after school.
ETC!!! im also signed up for swimming but the practices havent started yet. i am SOO busy. so im going to have to drop some stuff. or move it around because i really need more balance and time. probably going to drop tutoring because that really wasnt that big of a comitment. like ill still help them and stuff but ugh i just dont have that time!!! so if i stop tutoring subjects and if i tutored anthony and moe together... or just plain stop tutoring Moe because seriously hes a lost cause. whats the point in tutoring someone if theyre a lost cause? he doesnt try he doesnt practice he doesnt work or pay attention hes a waste of my time and his. i mean anthony asks for help like twice a week and i hear him practicing all the time and he shows potential and he really works hard for it. so ya he still deserves to havee me tutor him. plus i liek hanging out and doing stuff after school so yea.
OH and did i mention my parents now NEVER trust me!!! i mean i cant even say i got an A on a test without them saying PROVE IT i dont believe you! god they are SUCH asses. oh my god!
anyways i got to go! ugh
gothgirl xox
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
stupid ass drama!
So much is going on with me lately but right now there is only one problem on my mind. I'll start at the beggining and recap you on everything else later.
So at school in the recent days ive been hanging around with Soul, Danielle, Cynthia, Genn, Rachelle, Chris etc etc. So there seems to be a lot of drama in this group... like not backstabing bitch skap cat fights, or plotting against each other.... just serious amount of issues. now i do realize that i vowed to stay out of drama this year ( not the subject) but i just cant help it, i guess that you never really can avoid it. besides when theres no drama theres no fun. So like i was previously saying Drama. It all started the begging of the third week of school. This week to be exact. DAnielle had been dating this guy from another school ( lets call him Phi for all extense and purpose*) So then Monday- Rachelle dumps her current boyfriend Chris and starts going out with Phi because they've liked each other since like grade 4 or some crap like that. So then Genn and Cynthia are totally pissed at her because she's been lying so much lately and shes a backstabber and like drama. Then Tusday Hailey starts going out with Carter... not really relevant to the rest but at the time was a scandal. Finally today, shit i wish this day never happened. Normal morning. No big. Except for one thing Soul made plans to go out to lunch with Mike** even though she already had plans with Genn and cynthia to film some stuff for school at the park. Of course because Rachelle by this point is like depressed and insecure she takes soul's side and goes with her. Okay so basically I sided with Genn and them because first of all Mike was a creep. Next thing i know Souls gone with Rachelle to the skate park. I'm not going to write all the following details but basically we knew that they had gone to the skate park to do drugs, it hasnt been the first time either. So we called Rachelle's parents and the police and the principal and vice principal. There was this big freak out. And then the horrible happens. Soul and Rachelle come back. I feel so bad about what happened because turns out last minute they disided not to go and went to the water park instead. So after all that nothing really happened exept that now Soul is pissed at us, Rachelle is forgiven and in result forgives us. Oh not to mention Soul is now spreading sumors that Danielle had benn lying about everything. It's not true though.
I'm not even sure if i want to write the rest now. So basically ill sum it all up.
1. Im in jazz band
2. im in concert band
3. im tutoring Anthony and Moe in flute
4 Anthony is WAY better than Moe.
5. Im pissed, tired, and really want this day to end.
6. not to mention I really want a hug from justin.
Will this week never end?
GothGirlxox
* After the arguement was over Danielle and Rachelle made a pact to play him and bitch slap him once he comes to LDHSS but at the moment they are both still going out with Phi.
** im calling him mike because i dont really know his real name
So at school in the recent days ive been hanging around with Soul, Danielle, Cynthia, Genn, Rachelle, Chris etc etc. So there seems to be a lot of drama in this group... like not backstabing bitch skap cat fights, or plotting against each other.... just serious amount of issues. now i do realize that i vowed to stay out of drama this year ( not the subject) but i just cant help it, i guess that you never really can avoid it. besides when theres no drama theres no fun. So like i was previously saying Drama. It all started the begging of the third week of school. This week to be exact. DAnielle had been dating this guy from another school ( lets call him Phi for all extense and purpose*) So then Monday- Rachelle dumps her current boyfriend Chris and starts going out with Phi because they've liked each other since like grade 4 or some crap like that. So then Genn and Cynthia are totally pissed at her because she's been lying so much lately and shes a backstabber and like drama. Then Tusday Hailey starts going out with Carter... not really relevant to the rest but at the time was a scandal. Finally today, shit i wish this day never happened. Normal morning. No big. Except for one thing Soul made plans to go out to lunch with Mike** even though she already had plans with Genn and cynthia to film some stuff for school at the park. Of course because Rachelle by this point is like depressed and insecure she takes soul's side and goes with her. Okay so basically I sided with Genn and them because first of all Mike was a creep. Next thing i know Souls gone with Rachelle to the skate park. I'm not going to write all the following details but basically we knew that they had gone to the skate park to do drugs, it hasnt been the first time either. So we called Rachelle's parents and the police and the principal and vice principal. There was this big freak out. And then the horrible happens. Soul and Rachelle come back. I feel so bad about what happened because turns out last minute they disided not to go and went to the water park instead. So after all that nothing really happened exept that now Soul is pissed at us, Rachelle is forgiven and in result forgives us. Oh not to mention Soul is now spreading sumors that Danielle had benn lying about everything. It's not true though.
I'm not even sure if i want to write the rest now. So basically ill sum it all up.
1. Im in jazz band
2. im in concert band
3. im tutoring Anthony and Moe in flute
4 Anthony is WAY better than Moe.
5. Im pissed, tired, and really want this day to end.
6. not to mention I really want a hug from justin.
Will this week never end?
GothGirlxox
* After the arguement was over Danielle and Rachelle made a pact to play him and bitch slap him once he comes to LDHSS but at the moment they are both still going out with Phi.
** im calling him mike because i dont really know his real name
Friday, September 4, 2009
school is back.
So school has begun. Time to start classes, head off and work.For most kids this is the day of empending doom, i on the other hand am too exicted. Well past tense i guess because now its just ending the week. It is friday, hence the reason im uploading, not that ive actually been that busy, just lazy because of lack of time that seems to happen in result of loosing 6 hours of your day. So first day of school was lame, as was the second because the only thing we did was... wait wait i wanna see if you can guess.
Please choose the most likely option out of the following:
a) did workshops with 7, 8 and 9's
b) filled out a bunch of useless forms about us.
c) all of the above
d) none of the above
If you pick a) you are right! the useless forms came on thursday our first day of ACTUAL class. So we did lame workshops the entire two first day of school, thing is i have a pretty good sense of direction and i figured out how to navigate this school in about 5 minutes. So no big, then learning the rules, pretty basic, a few changes but not enough to strike me as amased, let alone need a 40 minute "talk" about them. Then of course there was organization, uh helloooo!! it's me we're talking about. when am i not organized?? my room does not count, atleast i can find everything! thing is i got nearly everything each workshop was talking about within 4 minutes then the other 36 were wasted on me being completly struck sleeping. Even if the school is amazing and the teachers hilarious, in the workshops they treated us as children of a very young age and it was ridiculous. i hate being talked to like an infant let alone treated like one.
So lets go on to a better, more possitive subject. Even though the workshops were a bore some of them, VERY few but some of them were actually useful to me. Like in just the first three days of school i am signed up for the school musical, assigned to making, and organizing a book club, in band, oh and loved by every teacher. So i say a plus.
Now the day were i actually went visiting my classes. Thursday! So i get to school early because weirdly enough i really like being at school as it opens so then i have absolutly no rush and i dont have to walk around peoples, its just me, the construction workers, and the teachers. The school is amazing but once the students start filling in, it can get hectic. So with that i must navigate around the school to attempt to get to class on time, umm no thank you. So my first class is FRench with Mme. Cheung.... the E is silent. She isnt amazingly interesting or anything but atleast she isnt dead boring. So i sit next to Aavan in that class. even though we are supposed to be switching partners daily she always seems to be seating with me, tough its kool.
So then its science. My science teacher in one word is.... unique. Okay you know the teacher in harry potter that teaches the art of divination, ya thats her like exactly. Her profile its nearly exact to those of that teacher. But she is way way way! more excited about her class than her. I mean the first thing she said to us when we walked into her class was "I LIKE BLOWING THINGS UP!!! AND BURNING THINGS!!!!" then she practically jumped around the class explaining things, altogether she is totally awesome Go Mrs Wilkinson, also today with her we flung eggs around the classroom.
Then comes Music, so far my music class has been really lame, we havent started playing yet. But atleast Andrew is in my class. It would be way too weird tohave music without him. hes my band buddy. And the teacher is really cool. Mrs Godffry i believe. She has this thing with us listening to clsasical music in the background while she talks unlike mr leohr. today she introduced us to a bunch of really awesome classical music artists. like holst but not the famous of holst because thats like the planets and who in the music world doesnt know the planets?? So thats kool, even though im in a class with mostly musically challenged. Omg but its nuts because i signed up for intermediate but seriously more than half of my class is not only beginner but EXTREMLY beginner i mean like just starting ont their intruments. its going to be so friken lame!!
Then finally Geo. The teacher... i dunno her name, but she is umm,.... a mix between extatic and totally lame. I mean like she is really nice and happy and stuff but she likes teaching in the traditional way and when the rest of your classes are mostly hands on it makes it just that much lame. though today we did get to walk arount the entire yard dating the longitude and latitude of every major spot. it was fun. andrew once again is my partner.
speaking of Andrews did i mention that little andrew from grade 7 is back?? it was totally dramatic and i feel so bad for him because all of his old friends and stuff like abandon him and it was so sad because he doesnt deserve that, so like i hung out with him for a while... though now hes taller and much cuter than i remember. But looks like today he finally found a friend.... sadly for me i cannot say that i have done so. I have mae aquaintences yes, i would hang out with them at lunch yes... but would i like to reeally consider them friends and tell them secrets and talk about stuff and well hang outside of school... no. I walk to class alone, i mostly eat my lunch in silence perhaps not alone but quiet. i dont really care for company enough yet that i make petty useless conversations with them, and i know im being unfair to them because yes they are beings as well but when you go from many intelectually interesting minds such as Schwa and Emm, to well them,..... its a big step. So i rather just sit with my thoughts. I walk with Adrienne after school and stuff but again not really a friend. Usually in a time like this i would feel alone but for some reason im not any more.... like i do feel the lack of friends walking to and from class, cause i usially have schwa with me ALL the time so its like i lost my shadow :( a part of me is missing and i know its impossible to get it back. Though besides that im fine. Lunch is just long enough to eat lunch maybe read a bit then head off early to my locker to miss the rush. Then in class its so interesting and important, that i pay attention and dont really talk, and we dont have recess so no sitting alone, then in the morning i get a drive and i walk home... thats it, no real need for anything more than aquantances. i have my friends and those are the peoples that are important to me, not the peoples i make conversation to in class or at lunch. besides there arent that many peoples i know in my classes.
Bye for now,
GothGirl xox
PS i got a haircut!!! its now like really short again and it looks so much better on me, and i love it so much, its way lighter and awesome, and its like wow. and i look older so thats always a plus.though i totally cant look goth with it... like i can but barely, and i dont really want to any more... i mean i did it to stand out and get noticed because when youre this short you ghave to do something, or peoples would just step on you. or like i needed something to make me diffrent so guys would atleast look at me, and that way i would scare away the peoples i dont want to talk to because those who did talk to you didnt care about apperences. But now.... i have no reason, i dont care about being noticed by any one other than teachers. School is for grades, scholarships, and futures, i dont need guys to look at me because i am perfectly happy with the one man i love now. and well i dont want friends, and being on the outside made me a very good judge of character... i could pretty much easyly tell you who are the peoples i want to talk to.
i know this is a long ps but it must be said and for some reason tonight im typing so fast that it isnt making any dffrence in time. go writing it seems that because i have written more and i continuelly do so my typing has sped up atleast 2 fold.
Please choose the most likely option out of the following:
a) did workshops with 7, 8 and 9's
b) filled out a bunch of useless forms about us.
c) all of the above
d) none of the above
If you pick a) you are right! the useless forms came on thursday our first day of ACTUAL class. So we did lame workshops the entire two first day of school, thing is i have a pretty good sense of direction and i figured out how to navigate this school in about 5 minutes. So no big, then learning the rules, pretty basic, a few changes but not enough to strike me as amased, let alone need a 40 minute "talk" about them. Then of course there was organization, uh helloooo!! it's me we're talking about. when am i not organized?? my room does not count, atleast i can find everything! thing is i got nearly everything each workshop was talking about within 4 minutes then the other 36 were wasted on me being completly struck sleeping. Even if the school is amazing and the teachers hilarious, in the workshops they treated us as children of a very young age and it was ridiculous. i hate being talked to like an infant let alone treated like one.
So lets go on to a better, more possitive subject. Even though the workshops were a bore some of them, VERY few but some of them were actually useful to me. Like in just the first three days of school i am signed up for the school musical, assigned to making, and organizing a book club, in band, oh and loved by every teacher. So i say a plus.
Now the day were i actually went visiting my classes. Thursday! So i get to school early because weirdly enough i really like being at school as it opens so then i have absolutly no rush and i dont have to walk around peoples, its just me, the construction workers, and the teachers. The school is amazing but once the students start filling in, it can get hectic. So with that i must navigate around the school to attempt to get to class on time, umm no thank you. So my first class is FRench with Mme. Cheung.... the E is silent. She isnt amazingly interesting or anything but atleast she isnt dead boring. So i sit next to Aavan in that class. even though we are supposed to be switching partners daily she always seems to be seating with me, tough its kool.
So then its science. My science teacher in one word is.... unique. Okay you know the teacher in harry potter that teaches the art of divination, ya thats her like exactly. Her profile its nearly exact to those of that teacher. But she is way way way! more excited about her class than her. I mean the first thing she said to us when we walked into her class was "I LIKE BLOWING THINGS UP!!! AND BURNING THINGS!!!!" then she practically jumped around the class explaining things, altogether she is totally awesome Go Mrs Wilkinson, also today with her we flung eggs around the classroom.
Then comes Music, so far my music class has been really lame, we havent started playing yet. But atleast Andrew is in my class. It would be way too weird tohave music without him. hes my band buddy. And the teacher is really cool. Mrs Godffry i believe. She has this thing with us listening to clsasical music in the background while she talks unlike mr leohr. today she introduced us to a bunch of really awesome classical music artists. like holst but not the famous of holst because thats like the planets and who in the music world doesnt know the planets?? So thats kool, even though im in a class with mostly musically challenged. Omg but its nuts because i signed up for intermediate but seriously more than half of my class is not only beginner but EXTREMLY beginner i mean like just starting ont their intruments. its going to be so friken lame!!
Then finally Geo. The teacher... i dunno her name, but she is umm,.... a mix between extatic and totally lame. I mean like she is really nice and happy and stuff but she likes teaching in the traditional way and when the rest of your classes are mostly hands on it makes it just that much lame. though today we did get to walk arount the entire yard dating the longitude and latitude of every major spot. it was fun. andrew once again is my partner.
speaking of Andrews did i mention that little andrew from grade 7 is back?? it was totally dramatic and i feel so bad for him because all of his old friends and stuff like abandon him and it was so sad because he doesnt deserve that, so like i hung out with him for a while... though now hes taller and much cuter than i remember. But looks like today he finally found a friend.... sadly for me i cannot say that i have done so. I have mae aquaintences yes, i would hang out with them at lunch yes... but would i like to reeally consider them friends and tell them secrets and talk about stuff and well hang outside of school... no. I walk to class alone, i mostly eat my lunch in silence perhaps not alone but quiet. i dont really care for company enough yet that i make petty useless conversations with them, and i know im being unfair to them because yes they are beings as well but when you go from many intelectually interesting minds such as Schwa and Emm, to well them,..... its a big step. So i rather just sit with my thoughts. I walk with Adrienne after school and stuff but again not really a friend. Usually in a time like this i would feel alone but for some reason im not any more.... like i do feel the lack of friends walking to and from class, cause i usially have schwa with me ALL the time so its like i lost my shadow :( a part of me is missing and i know its impossible to get it back. Though besides that im fine. Lunch is just long enough to eat lunch maybe read a bit then head off early to my locker to miss the rush. Then in class its so interesting and important, that i pay attention and dont really talk, and we dont have recess so no sitting alone, then in the morning i get a drive and i walk home... thats it, no real need for anything more than aquantances. i have my friends and those are the peoples that are important to me, not the peoples i make conversation to in class or at lunch. besides there arent that many peoples i know in my classes.
Bye for now,
GothGirl xox
PS i got a haircut!!! its now like really short again and it looks so much better on me, and i love it so much, its way lighter and awesome, and its like wow. and i look older so thats always a plus.though i totally cant look goth with it... like i can but barely, and i dont really want to any more... i mean i did it to stand out and get noticed because when youre this short you ghave to do something, or peoples would just step on you. or like i needed something to make me diffrent so guys would atleast look at me, and that way i would scare away the peoples i dont want to talk to because those who did talk to you didnt care about apperences. But now.... i have no reason, i dont care about being noticed by any one other than teachers. School is for grades, scholarships, and futures, i dont need guys to look at me because i am perfectly happy with the one man i love now. and well i dont want friends, and being on the outside made me a very good judge of character... i could pretty much easyly tell you who are the peoples i want to talk to.
i know this is a long ps but it must be said and for some reason tonight im typing so fast that it isnt making any dffrence in time. go writing it seems that because i have written more and i continuelly do so my typing has sped up atleast 2 fold.
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