Jordan and I are over. This morning he said that he needed to talk to me, though it was "nothing bad"... following that was a day of conversations i couldnt follow. awkward group enterrings where i knew they were talking about me... and of course the looks... all in all by the end of the day i had pretty much figured it out.
It was then explained to me that he had felt pressured into it. not by like a person just like overall. and he didn't feel that happy relationship sensation. On top of that dissapointment i was too clingy. All i said was okay *hug* and then leave. Sure i felt like crying... i was sad... i still am. but i just couldnt do it there you know? i hate that look. that sympathetic oh poor dear look.
On the way home, I walked, wanted to think things through only Lyndsay (my nextdoor neighbour) decided to walk with me. The girl wouldnt shut up. AND jordan was walking home with Zach and Chris not 10 feet behind me. I tried not to hear him laughing like nothing had changed. I guess for him it hadn't.... I myself have never been dumped before... well i have but never by someone ive really cared about before.
Anyways now thinking back i understand the other remarks but clingy ?? So it's not like something i can help. I've spent my entire life being abandonned, so of course im going to hold on to someone i like. But he could have told me, and we would have talked. I'm not unreasonable. I know its one of my faults. I'd have worked on it. It's not like the equator, theres no map for this invisible line. Every person has a different deffinition as to where clingy is.
oh well, its too late now.
Thing is..... i didn't even know. I didn't know.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
stereotypical cast.. not
The stereotypical drama club geek: peppy, happy, energized, and flamboyant.
The reality though somewhat more boring and less excentric is I. For I am in the musical, and hardy participant, though a shorter role (pardon the pun) still fully participating. And I vouch for the rest of the cast when i say; We are all tired!! Today at practice everyone was so tired we slothed through most of the pieces, shoved them together, and fell into fits of giggling over rediculous comments. It went like this...
Due to over practicing, and months of review and review... we are now at the stage where everything is prepared and now it is time to show... only we are all dead tired from lack of sleep... and or exhaustion because of stress.... I fall into category number two... it probably doesn't help that there's a virus going around the cast... horrible timing i might add.
So we had our final practice today, so here is my schedual for the next week:
Saturday- filming
Sunday- relaxation, family diner with steve*
Monday-preshow
Tuesday-Preshow
Wednesday- Preformance
Thursday- Performance
Friday-Performance
Saturday-Performance
Sunday- relaxation and cast party.
I had planned to continue more with this, but i'm so tired im falling asleep where i sit. I'll blog tomorrow when i get back from filming.
Jen
PS: I'm starting to get really agrivated with my mother calling me stupid, insignificant, an idiot... and many other forms of degrading terms. (such as lier, bitch, slut etc etc)
*Yes you know that huge falling out with my uncle a few months back when he turned all loonie toons and my grandmother had to get him arrested for his own safety??!! Well we are trying to work past this little insident by doing what my family does best. Make huge diners, argue, scream, cry, and then move on. Sounds like fun.
The reality though somewhat more boring and less excentric is I. For I am in the musical, and hardy participant, though a shorter role (pardon the pun) still fully participating. And I vouch for the rest of the cast when i say; We are all tired!! Today at practice everyone was so tired we slothed through most of the pieces, shoved them together, and fell into fits of giggling over rediculous comments. It went like this...
Due to over practicing, and months of review and review... we are now at the stage where everything is prepared and now it is time to show... only we are all dead tired from lack of sleep... and or exhaustion because of stress.... I fall into category number two... it probably doesn't help that there's a virus going around the cast... horrible timing i might add.
So we had our final practice today, so here is my schedual for the next week:
Saturday- filming
Sunday- relaxation, family diner with steve*
Monday-preshow
Tuesday-Preshow
Wednesday- Preformance
Thursday- Performance
Friday-Performance
Saturday-Performance
Sunday- relaxation and cast party.
I had planned to continue more with this, but i'm so tired im falling asleep where i sit. I'll blog tomorrow when i get back from filming.
Jen
PS: I'm starting to get really agrivated with my mother calling me stupid, insignificant, an idiot... and many other forms of degrading terms. (such as lier, bitch, slut etc etc)
*Yes you know that huge falling out with my uncle a few months back when he turned all loonie toons and my grandmother had to get him arrested for his own safety??!! Well we are trying to work past this little insident by doing what my family does best. Make huge diners, argue, scream, cry, and then move on. Sounds like fun.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Hello all people of the blogging world... or i suppose relitively small amount of people from the blogging communty... I don't really have much to say but I'm sitting in the library waiting for jordan as he writes his science essay minutes before it's due... yes very smart :P
I've managed to finish my own essay earlyer yesturday evening, and am correcting it tonight. That's all that i have as per news..... yeah.... We finished the gas mask for the musical in my first period class, as i waited for my potery to dry. Its fantabulous if i do say so myself. I'll post the pictures after the show.
Ummmm thats really all i have to say... my days been relitively unaventful.
byes for now.
Jen
I've managed to finish my own essay earlyer yesturday evening, and am correcting it tonight. That's all that i have as per news..... yeah.... We finished the gas mask for the musical in my first period class, as i waited for my potery to dry. Its fantabulous if i do say so myself. I'll post the pictures after the show.
Ummmm thats really all i have to say... my days been relitively unaventful.
byes for now.
Jen
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Jordan, a personal outline
Okay finally i have caught five minutes to myself. I'm going to write about Jordan, like i promised.
last year was when we really met, and that was because he was on my bus. turns out that we have a lot in common. We like the same music, we have the same sense of humor, etcetera.
He's a really good actor, and us super funny. Not to mention one of the nicest guys i know.
When i say jordan's kind, i don't mean like "aww that's nice" kind, i mean like "AWWWW *faint from awesomeness*" kind. PERFECT example yesturday this was out convo*:
Jordan: have i ever told you how gorgeous your eyes are?
Jennifer: umm no. Are they?
Jordan: yeah they tell a tale of all the heart ache you've dealt with but they also are a gate way to your heart and the pure beauty that it holds. And when i look into your eyes I realize you are the most amazing person ever. Your eyes just sparkle like stars in the sky.
Queue faint--->
see AWWW doesn't cover it. BAsically he's perfect. Sometimes when he holds me its just like heart melt! my insides are like a fondu. and he makes me feel special. Also he's handsome, but ot vain, and not self centered. Thing is, he doesn't even realize how awesome he is.
One of his best traits, i find, is how easy he is to talk to. He listens, and i think that he even understands what it's like you know? I want to tell him everything thats happened in my life, and some things, i haven't told anyone. Not even Lee. He's special, i hope this lasts a longtime, he's exactly what i need.
xo, Jen
*yes jordan i told you i was going to quote this!!!
last year was when we really met, and that was because he was on my bus. turns out that we have a lot in common. We like the same music, we have the same sense of humor, etcetera.
He's a really good actor, and us super funny. Not to mention one of the nicest guys i know.
When i say jordan's kind, i don't mean like "aww that's nice" kind, i mean like "AWWWW *faint from awesomeness*" kind. PERFECT example yesturday this was out convo*:
Jordan: have i ever told you how gorgeous your eyes are?
Jennifer: umm no. Are they?
Jordan: yeah they tell a tale of all the heart ache you've dealt with but they also are a gate way to your heart and the pure beauty that it holds. And when i look into your eyes I realize you are the most amazing person ever. Your eyes just sparkle like stars in the sky.
Queue faint--->
see AWWW doesn't cover it. BAsically he's perfect. Sometimes when he holds me its just like heart melt! my insides are like a fondu. and he makes me feel special. Also he's handsome, but ot vain, and not self centered. Thing is, he doesn't even realize how awesome he is.
One of his best traits, i find, is how easy he is to talk to. He listens, and i think that he even understands what it's like you know? I want to tell him everything thats happened in my life, and some things, i haven't told anyone. Not even Lee. He's special, i hope this lasts a longtime, he's exactly what i need.
xo, Jen
*yes jordan i told you i was going to quote this!!!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
GOLD
OH MY GOD one last thing before i officially sign off that i can't believe i forgot to mention!!! BAND!!!!
on monday we had a competition at woodroffe high. WE GOT GOLD!!!
Basically I got drivin by pickles and on the way there we had to stop and get air for the tires, at the gas station there was this lady who slapped herslef with the door of her car and then pretended it didnt happen it was soo funny.
Then once there we got lost within the first five minutes, and i am not exagerating when i say this school is a laberynth. So finally we arrived at our room with help of some creepy old janitor, and well you know how warm up rooms usually are (loud noisy and not usually on task) we basically just hung out for a bit. Then Tara and I were appointed task of Group representatives and emmcee's. so on the spot we had to write a speech which I'd say went well. Anyways we finally were brought onto the stage to present to the juges ( we were the last band to preform) and though i though we sucked by what we could have done, Some Irish piccolo player ( who was the judge) that played for the queen for 10 years was all like LDHSS YOU WERE FANTASTIC you deffinatly deserve gold!!
I swear i swollowed my tongue right there on the stage. Or atleast i gasped like a fish out of water for a few moments. Once in the hall i started dancing like a lunatic and waltzing with pickles and ryan though neither one of them can waltz very well. After we were outside i was informed that Pickles' brothers had now appointed themselves as my miniature entourage. WHich i thought was soo cute. anyways we sat in her car and sang beatles songs for a while and then went home. At which point i passed out on the couch and woke up the next morning.
And that is the story of how i won gold!
Jen
on monday we had a competition at woodroffe high. WE GOT GOLD!!!
Basically I got drivin by pickles and on the way there we had to stop and get air for the tires, at the gas station there was this lady who slapped herslef with the door of her car and then pretended it didnt happen it was soo funny.
Then once there we got lost within the first five minutes, and i am not exagerating when i say this school is a laberynth. So finally we arrived at our room with help of some creepy old janitor, and well you know how warm up rooms usually are (loud noisy and not usually on task) we basically just hung out for a bit. Then Tara and I were appointed task of Group representatives and emmcee's. so on the spot we had to write a speech which I'd say went well. Anyways we finally were brought onto the stage to present to the juges ( we were the last band to preform) and though i though we sucked by what we could have done, Some Irish piccolo player ( who was the judge) that played for the queen for 10 years was all like LDHSS YOU WERE FANTASTIC you deffinatly deserve gold!!
I swear i swollowed my tongue right there on the stage. Or atleast i gasped like a fish out of water for a few moments. Once in the hall i started dancing like a lunatic and waltzing with pickles and ryan though neither one of them can waltz very well. After we were outside i was informed that Pickles' brothers had now appointed themselves as my miniature entourage. WHich i thought was soo cute. anyways we sat in her car and sang beatles songs for a while and then went home. At which point i passed out on the couch and woke up the next morning.
And that is the story of how i won gold!
Jen
Sudden Fatigue
Hello. Okay i know im a horrible procrastinator and i should be writing but honesdtly lately i've just been so tired i havent gotten the chance. I guess i should explain the reason for my sudden fatigue. If it wasn't obcious to those who know me it's because of the crunch time in the approachement of the musical. ontop of homework, job, and book. I'm a good multi tasker, but not that good.
So instead of complaining I'm going to follow a more positive approach to the situation and though tiring, explain what exactly it is we do at practices.
Monday's I work on props, and puppets with Mme Cheung (Irene), Tuesday's Cast rehearsals, Wednesday props, thursday cast, friday props AND ALL DAY SATURDAY cast.
I'm going to have to cut this into two parts, because as you can tell im working on both props, and acting.....
CAST REHEARSAL
So i participate in 3 numbers. The opening ( downtown), suddenly seimour, and the finale.
Now that we're mostly done with coreagraphing and vocals, we're runningthrough,, working on transitions, costumes, and facial expressions. (which is hard to do while you're singing by the way)
Though a lot of work, practices are pretty fun. Especially with Jordan there. Now I just watch him during scenes im not part of (which is most) [ and not in a creepy stalker way! like in an im in the audience kind of way.....] and in the scenes where he's dead (he plays Mr Mushnik.) i lean on him. perfect balance... oh and then during my lunch break i usually go work on the plant.... which brings us to
PROPS!
Originally our plan had been to rent the Audrey II's from another school.... only problem was that when we recieved them they were crap... and when i say crap i mean shit.... so Irene, and Mrs Jensen (Andrea) decided to redo them. By scratch
We are so far finished Audrey II v. 1 and 2. and are spray painting Audrey II v. 3 now. This past week I've mostly been working on V. 4. Which in insidentally the huge pplant that eats everyone.
The thing about this plant. is that it's so big it takes 3 people jsut to move. And its covered in chiken wire... which cuts everyone up everytime they touch it. So in the past two meetings I've managed to cover the exo skeleton with foam, and stretch nylon. And the borders with duct tape.
Though in the proccess i cut myself several times and burnt the side of my hand until the skin peeled off.... stupid hot glue.
But now it's terrifyingly aweosme. I imagine that in the next few meeting I will be inserting the tongue.... and then possibly painting... though painting and warts has never been my forte..... OR actually you know I'm even more likely to get caught with leaf duty.
See the thing about sewing leaves is that it takes a long time, is extremly difficult and usually ends with you bleeding in some form. However I've apparently been voted by the group best at sewing (thanks irene) and will now probably be stuck with leaves. Blah....
Anyways these practices usually involve us watching bad movies while laughing our heads off about the various stories and misdemeaners of Aavan Ryan and Pickles.
OH! i forgot to mention... you know my weird fascination with writing letters!? well apparently its going to come in handy because we're writing letters to each other (we = musical cast ) for opening night. I'm of course doing mine in caligraphy... :P
Until later,
Jen.
PS I PROMISE Ill tell you more about Jordan after... as soon as i get a chance... which will probably be tomorrow because I have to stay home and babysit andrea again.
So instead of complaining I'm going to follow a more positive approach to the situation and though tiring, explain what exactly it is we do at practices.
Monday's I work on props, and puppets with Mme Cheung (Irene), Tuesday's Cast rehearsals, Wednesday props, thursday cast, friday props AND ALL DAY SATURDAY cast.
I'm going to have to cut this into two parts, because as you can tell im working on both props, and acting.....
CAST REHEARSAL
So i participate in 3 numbers. The opening ( downtown), suddenly seimour, and the finale.
Now that we're mostly done with coreagraphing and vocals, we're runningthrough,, working on transitions, costumes, and facial expressions. (which is hard to do while you're singing by the way)
Though a lot of work, practices are pretty fun. Especially with Jordan there. Now I just watch him during scenes im not part of (which is most) [ and not in a creepy stalker way! like in an im in the audience kind of way.....] and in the scenes where he's dead (he plays Mr Mushnik.) i lean on him. perfect balance... oh and then during my lunch break i usually go work on the plant.... which brings us to
PROPS!
Originally our plan had been to rent the Audrey II's from another school.... only problem was that when we recieved them they were crap... and when i say crap i mean shit.... so Irene, and Mrs Jensen (Andrea) decided to redo them. By scratch
We are so far finished Audrey II v. 1 and 2. and are spray painting Audrey II v. 3 now. This past week I've mostly been working on V. 4. Which in insidentally the huge pplant that eats everyone.
The thing about this plant. is that it's so big it takes 3 people jsut to move. And its covered in chiken wire... which cuts everyone up everytime they touch it. So in the past two meetings I've managed to cover the exo skeleton with foam, and stretch nylon. And the borders with duct tape.
Though in the proccess i cut myself several times and burnt the side of my hand until the skin peeled off.... stupid hot glue.
But now it's terrifyingly aweosme. I imagine that in the next few meeting I will be inserting the tongue.... and then possibly painting... though painting and warts has never been my forte..... OR actually you know I'm even more likely to get caught with leaf duty.
See the thing about sewing leaves is that it takes a long time, is extremly difficult and usually ends with you bleeding in some form. However I've apparently been voted by the group best at sewing (thanks irene) and will now probably be stuck with leaves. Blah....
Anyways these practices usually involve us watching bad movies while laughing our heads off about the various stories and misdemeaners of Aavan Ryan and Pickles.
OH! i forgot to mention... you know my weird fascination with writing letters!? well apparently its going to come in handy because we're writing letters to each other (we = musical cast ) for opening night. I'm of course doing mine in caligraphy... :P
Until later,
Jen.
PS I PROMISE Ill tell you more about Jordan after... as soon as i get a chance... which will probably be tomorrow because I have to stay home and babysit andrea again.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
The Comedy Of Errors
okay not only was watching a reenactment of shakespear awesome... but it was a 21st century spin to shakespear... i mean there was a transvestite singing put a ring on it.... pchya. So yes the play was aweosme.... thing was ERIN WAS THERE!!!!!
there was clearly another school attending and i had a feeling it was john mcCrea and turns out ERIN WAS THERE!!! GAH... so Rhuddie and I (Jordan = Rhuddie) were all like HI and she was like "HEY i miss yo- WAIT did i miss soemthing? why are you holding hands? are you going out again ??!??!??! " it was quite funny. after the play, our little group... of Jordan, Bailey Matty, and a few other people GOT LOST!!! the rest of our class had left and we had no idea where to go... so finally jordan ended up navigating the NAC to get us to the bus. That was actually scary ( that and that Bailey had Mr Monchezuki on the phone ? )
Point being it was a great day.
Though speaking of theater, OUR MUSICAL IS IN CRUNCH TIME!!!! this means that there are practices EVERY night after school and saturdays! Yes it's great seeing that much of Rhuddie ( he really is an amazing guy I'll have to fill ya'll in later) but It is just soooo tiring! all that dancing and singing and staying up late and DANCING!!!
speaking of DANCING! today i ended up coreagraphing 1 and a half minutes of don't rain on my parade for 5 people, and it's awesome. Im very proud cause we went from behind everyone to WAY ahead :P we only have like 20 seconds left until we're done!!!
pfff..... anyways my energy levels have officially run out for the day, and am now going to sleep.... nighty night!!
Jen
there was clearly another school attending and i had a feeling it was john mcCrea and turns out ERIN WAS THERE!!! GAH... so Rhuddie and I (Jordan = Rhuddie) were all like HI and she was like "HEY i miss yo- WAIT did i miss soemthing? why are you holding hands? are you going out again ??!??!??! " it was quite funny. after the play, our little group... of Jordan, Bailey Matty, and a few other people GOT LOST!!! the rest of our class had left and we had no idea where to go... so finally jordan ended up navigating the NAC to get us to the bus. That was actually scary ( that and that Bailey had Mr Monchezuki on the phone ? )
Point being it was a great day.
Though speaking of theater, OUR MUSICAL IS IN CRUNCH TIME!!!! this means that there are practices EVERY night after school and saturdays! Yes it's great seeing that much of Rhuddie ( he really is an amazing guy I'll have to fill ya'll in later) but It is just soooo tiring! all that dancing and singing and staying up late and DANCING!!!
speaking of DANCING! today i ended up coreagraphing 1 and a half minutes of don't rain on my parade for 5 people, and it's awesome. Im very proud cause we went from behind everyone to WAY ahead :P we only have like 20 seconds left until we're done!!!
pfff..... anyways my energy levels have officially run out for the day, and am now going to sleep.... nighty night!!
Jen
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
insert title of choice
Though my life has yet to calm down... actually now that i think about it, it seems to have gotten busyer... anyways not the point. The point is after hours and hours of practices, and group meetings for the musical, i have gotten a lot closer to Jordan*, and today, at lunch, he asked me out, and i replied yes.
I'm happy, i really like him, and i think it'll work out better than the last ass-that-shall-remain-unamed. For once im with "the good guy" and frankly he's a lot more fun to be with.
HAHAHA I JUST REALIZED i basically just summed up the message of the little shop of horrors (our musical) though i hope we won't get eaten by a crazy alien plant :P if you don't get the referance watch the musical.
Anyways i have to go write an essay
JEN
*you know jordan. Yes, the same one from grade 8... though then i wasn't prepared to face a real relationship compared to now... anyways GET BACK TO READING
I'm happy, i really like him, and i think it'll work out better than the last ass-that-shall-remain-unamed. For once im with "the good guy" and frankly he's a lot more fun to be with.
HAHAHA I JUST REALIZED i basically just summed up the message of the little shop of horrors (our musical) though i hope we won't get eaten by a crazy alien plant :P if you don't get the referance watch the musical.
Anyways i have to go write an essay
JEN
*you know jordan. Yes, the same one from grade 8... though then i wasn't prepared to face a real relationship compared to now... anyways GET BACK TO READING
Saturday, April 10, 2010
the highway of time
Most people consider time as a line, stretching on forever and going back as far as we can tell... but a straight line is always consistant, time is not.
At one point time seems to crawl by at such a tiresome pace its unbearable, and other times it seems you don't have enough hours in a day.
So i consider time more like a highway. Sometime the road speeds by, and others (traffic) barely move at all. Currently I'm on the Queensway and just speeding up. It seems that all of a sudden everything is pilling up faster and faster and i dont have enough time to balance it all.
All week i've been working on the musical and in my "spare time" doing homework. I've had to write newspaper articles, edit them, and create a newspaper. on top of studying to mid terms and EQAO. My life has been so hectic so many deadlines closing in I've been going non stop for the past week and a half. So after my saturday practices (2 at the same time) one from 10 to 4 and another from 11 to 3 30. bouncing back and forth during intermisions and breaks. I worked more on my essay for english. Then on my newspaper. And yet tomorrow; my "relaxing" day I have to finish the newspaper, write the perfect outline for my essay, AND do a few practice runs for EQAO.
ugh. And also I'vev been having this knawing erge to write lately and i simply haven't had the time, which is inconvinient because i am rarely in this sort of mood. I would write now, instead of blogging only i know i won't have enough time to really get into it, and they I'd have to tear myself away again and i ablsolutely hate that, especially because I'm at such a volatile state in the novel itself.
Anyways.
Going to sleep.
Jen
At one point time seems to crawl by at such a tiresome pace its unbearable, and other times it seems you don't have enough hours in a day.
So i consider time more like a highway. Sometime the road speeds by, and others (traffic) barely move at all. Currently I'm on the Queensway and just speeding up. It seems that all of a sudden everything is pilling up faster and faster and i dont have enough time to balance it all.
All week i've been working on the musical and in my "spare time" doing homework. I've had to write newspaper articles, edit them, and create a newspaper. on top of studying to mid terms and EQAO. My life has been so hectic so many deadlines closing in I've been going non stop for the past week and a half. So after my saturday practices (2 at the same time) one from 10 to 4 and another from 11 to 3 30. bouncing back and forth during intermisions and breaks. I worked more on my essay for english. Then on my newspaper. And yet tomorrow; my "relaxing" day I have to finish the newspaper, write the perfect outline for my essay, AND do a few practice runs for EQAO.
ugh. And also I'vev been having this knawing erge to write lately and i simply haven't had the time, which is inconvinient because i am rarely in this sort of mood. I would write now, instead of blogging only i know i won't have enough time to really get into it, and they I'd have to tear myself away again and i ablsolutely hate that, especially because I'm at such a volatile state in the novel itself.
Anyways.
Going to sleep.
Jen
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
gah april
April... the month that everything from the last year gets tied up and put away, and new things start to emerge. FRankly i hate the month.
This past easter weekend, i spent the entire 4 days at the cottage packing it up so that my grama can sell it. So no more cottage. However I've started talking to justin again, so though we may no longer be going out, i care for him, and he's my friend.
The musical is squishing everything together and pretty soon we'll be presenting the show.
WE have our 2nd last band concert this upcoming weekend.
I'll be going to school every saturday for the rest of the month for one reason or another.
and i'm pushing myself in school.... though i find that the more i push... the less i want to do it.
Initiative is the key *and just so happens to be my power word of the month on my calendar*
I'm tired, stressed... and really really don't want to do all this schoolwork that ive been putting off..... like the newspaper.
back to work
Jen
This past easter weekend, i spent the entire 4 days at the cottage packing it up so that my grama can sell it. So no more cottage. However I've started talking to justin again, so though we may no longer be going out, i care for him, and he's my friend.
The musical is squishing everything together and pretty soon we'll be presenting the show.
WE have our 2nd last band concert this upcoming weekend.
I'll be going to school every saturday for the rest of the month for one reason or another.
and i'm pushing myself in school.... though i find that the more i push... the less i want to do it.
Initiative is the key *and just so happens to be my power word of the month on my calendar*
I'm tired, stressed... and really really don't want to do all this schoolwork that ive been putting off..... like the newspaper.
back to work
Jen
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